I am not needed. Therefore, I am ignored.
Me during morning recitations:
Apparently, I’m no morning person.
You cannot hurt me, not while I am existing in this little universe I have crafted throughout the years. It’s just been so tiring and repetitive, you words and your treatment, that I have found myself a place to run to, and you will never find me here.
It may be chaotic here, but this is better, dynamic.
Oh, woman,
Please be nice.
Understand some more.
Be sensitive about others’ feelings.
Cooperate.
Concentrate.
Improve.
Remember the good things about you.
Wake your sweet self up.
Act upon them. Maintain.
Real foolish, kid.
Maybe my mental health has really been overlooked
Common Adult ADD/ADHD Symptoms:
- poor listening skills; hard time remembering conversations and following directions.
- “zoning out” without realizing it, even in the middle of a conversation.
- extreme distractibility; wandering attention makes it hard to stay on track.
- difficulty paying attention or focusing, such as when reading or listening to others.
- tendency to procrastinate
- trouble starting and finishing projects
- frequently forgetting appointments, commitments, and deadlines
- underestimating the time it will take you to complete tasks
- have poor self-control
- blurt out thoughts that are rude or inappropriate without thinking
- have addictive tendencies
- act recklessly or spontaneously without regard for consequences
- have trouble behaving in socially appropriate ways (such as sitting still during a long meeting)
- sense of underachievement
- doesn’t deal well with frustration
- trouble staying motivated
- hypersensitivity to criticism
- short, often explosive, temper
- feelings of inner restlessness, agitation
- tendency to take risks
- racing thoughts
- trouble sitting still; constant fidgeting
- craving for excitement
- talking excessively
- doing a million things at once
OMG I’m demonstrating all those symptoms, I can’t even asdfghjkhgf. Could this be the answer to all my questions coz damn, it makes so much sense.
(Source: helpguide.org)
last week, coffee. this week, chocolates.
Apparently, my body is looking for a certain high. Thankfully, I’m getting them from coffee and chocolates Fuck yeah.
You can never go wrong with a cup of coffee in the morning, and a bar of chocolates at night.
Feels like nothing’s ever gonna bring me down. Feels so good, God damn.
BRB looking for more chocolates.
Impulsiveness 2012
As much as I hate myself for not being in control of my actions and decisions at times, today, a part of me just felt like giving in.
And so, I got too impulsive today.
I had organizational issues for my design class and so I randomly went to a coffee shop and started asking questions.
I got impatient because the manager took forever on the phone and so I had my hair trimmed instead.
~ I missed you, hair, this is the last time I’m letting one of my impulsive attacks destroy you.
Without thinking about my laptop charger, I left it inside my locker in school and rushed home instead.
I was left with no choice but to abandon my laptop tonight, and all my beloved series, movies, and ebooks.
I had dinner twice thanks to my “laptop homesickness”.
And out of the blue, I tore off the plastic cover from this virgin book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, that I bought a year ago and started reading the entire thing for the whole night.
I just finished reading it and now I feel like publishing more of my supposed private blogposts here.
I guess today was a mixture of spontaneity and impulsiveness and carelessness.
Today, I was a lot like my old self, something that I have been running from for a while now.
Maybe I need days like these in order for me to preserve my sanity because lately I’ve been losing control of a lot of things.
Let go some more, Kimicat. Stop the resistance.
I’m a sucker for mixtapes.
I don’t know but there’s something about the thought of being made one that just sweeps me off my feet. I feel like it’s a sublime expression of one’s feelings, and that every song and lyric is dedicated to that lucky recipient. It’s one gift that will make you think and wonder what the meaning of including that song in the list is or if there is any meaning at all. It’s like being honored with the cream of the crop because you deserve to hear the best. Nothing is ever more genuine than a gift that is well-thought of, and I think mixtapes are one of those few.
#HighSchoolMemories
Judging from the others’ tweets, I feel like my High School experience was waaaay better. Hence, I’ve listed up a couple of unforgettable shit that happened during one of my “glory” days.
- We had this Star Wars themed Science Fair once. My character was Tavion Axmis from the videogame.
- When every student is expected/required to be good at performing onstage.
- Everything was a competition, even the collection of plastic bottles. Even the room decorations
- And yeah, decorate, EVERYTHING.
- Trash bins everywhere so you won’t have an excuse to litter.
- When the number of blackboard erasers gets smaller and smaller every week because of eraser fights.
- Batch name got changed thrice because we’re that hard to describe.
- Screaming your lungs out to 30 Seconds to Mars, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, and My Chemical Romance songs during recess.
- Doing music video parodies and filming them.
- Filming almost every crazy thing that happens.
- Had six different choreographers for one performance who gave up on us.
- When no adviser wants to brave our class anymore because we’re a bunch of self-destructing douchebags.
- When our classroom looked like a legit house one Christmas
- Sneaking out of school by removing the jalousies of the windows
- Someone drank piss from a bottle thinking it was iced tea
- When our boys flash their mushrooms at people.
- Making the yayas and classmates’ cars as hiding places for cellphones because bringing them in was prohibited.
- Everyone was family.
meow meow
I have low tolerance for beer. Uhhck, beer.
But the words “free” and “beer” were too irresistible together, I just had to chug down a few.
And yeah, I feel awesome right now. I make myself feel awesome.
I love you, Kimicat.
I need answers but I’m afraid to ask.
Welcoming 2012 where everything seems beyond normal.
It’s only been a couple of days since the year started but it hasn’t been the way it used to be. I don’t really believe in those New Year’s resolution crap but it’s silly how things have changed that abruptly, and how I was caught unguarded.
I don’t really intend to change something just because the year is young, but with all the phenomena that’s directly affecting me and with all the things that were taken away from me, it’s like the universe is forcing me to step up to action. But here I am, still indifferent like it’s all no big of a deal than it actually is.
It’s also weird how one day, it’s like all my feelings were left in the past year. It’s kind of a good thing when you think about the negative emotions I’ve left, but I left everything in the past and this is where I should panic.
For my first personal post of the year, I’m starting with a realization that I should have been more thankful for the previous year despite the bad things outweighing the impact of the many blessings I’ve received. I had always been ungrateful for the things that were provided for me like having a convenient life. Now that it’s slowly fading away with our helper not coming back and our drivers being AWOL, I feel like I should’ve complained less about my life.
I never realized how great my life was and now things are not how they used to be. Now, I have to arrange my clothes, make my own bed, cook my meals, commute from time to time and more things I’m not used to be doing.
I should have cherished things more instead of running away a lot of times because now I feel like I’ve distanced myself too much from things.
As early as now, this year has brought me bigger responsibilities that I know I was ready for but I just didn’t see coming. Despite all that, it’s hard to believe that I haven’t been as whiny as I was compared to back when I have things go the way it’s intended to be, and that’s what I’m thankful for right now.
Maybe I’ve grown past that phase and I can now handle more things in a less violent and unpleasant manner. I think this is a sign that I should start to be more grateful not only for the worldly material things provided for me, but also for giving me strength and making me a fighter.
Today, I fed my iTunes playlist a shitload of awesome.
Ladies and gentlemen,
The neurons inside my ears:
