moo, i'm a pig.

• Mom: Why aren't you doing homework?
• Me: I want to show my teachers that they don't own me, I'm more than just a piece in their stupid school.

Henry (8) and Sal (10) watching "Marie Antoinette"

• Henry: So what, you just like trade your daughter to another country to stop world war two or something?
• Henry: They'd better not take that pug from the girl from Spider-man. Oh my GOD they did. I hate France.
• Henry: I want a feather pen.
• Sal: They are really heavy and hard to write with. You have to dip them in ink. They leave blotches.
• Henry: You don't think I know that stuff? I tried to make a feather pen.
• Henry: Is he wearing a wig? Why is a big butt dress supposed to be fancy? Everyone likes big butts. They cannot lie. This is where the song probably came from.
• Henry: Instead of kissing at the wedding they should do the chicken dance.
• Henry: Are there explosions in this?
• Henry: Is everyone going to watch them go to bed? Are they dying? Okay is everyone going to go in their room every night?
• Henry: Uhhh (boob shot)
• Henry: Did they want them to have a kid their first night together?! Um, they kinda have to know each other first. Jeez.
• Henry: I can't wait to go to France and eat pastries.
• Me: They're just like the ones at the patisserie.
• Henry: No. They're better. Mom, it's Paris.
• Henry: Do they have to make a baby here at some point? God, that would be annoying. This prince is a weirdo. He makes keys.
• Sal: Why is the King with that girl? That's not the queen? Ew!
• Henry: What about that pug?
• Henry: They said the princess is fooling around, but the prince is never sleeping with her.
• Henry: Don't walk behind that huge dress! Peacock! CA-CAWWW!!